


seven steps before the fall

by winkinpark



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan is Whipped, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Mutual Pining, Pining, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:00:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27974057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winkinpark/pseuds/winkinpark
Summary: Stepping over the line between friendship and love is probably the dumbest mistake ever.But Donghyuck already had both feet on the other side, he only needs to take a step forward.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 6
Kudos: 116





	seven steps before the fall

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what you think about this, reading comments really make me happy :>
> 
> talk to me?  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/sfhyuckie)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/fullsunrse2)

1] The first time Donghyuck knew about his feelings (not what he thought it was), was in the summer, 2017. It was not the moment of realization where the world seems to stop, sunlight dripping on Mark's face, smile giving him some butterflies in the stomach. It was rather a spur of many emotions, anger, and betrayal catering a good amount of portion on his brain. It was at the moment of an unforgettable fight, with a quite forgettable reason.

_"Donghyuck, can you be mature for once? Please you're being irrational!"_

And it hit Donghyuck. Mark just raised his voice on him. Mark, the person whom he can annoy the most, without the fear of getting scolded. The one who tolerates Donghyuck the most just snapped at him. He felt sad, scared even. Because this hasn't happened before. But who is Donghyuck if he won't let his pride take over him?

_"So you think I'm a child Mark hyung? Just because, what? You're obviously more capable than I am? Just because the members like you more?"_

A hint of regret past Mark's eyes and maybe on Donghyuck's mind. Because the members will hear about this, they will side with Mark. Not with Donghyuck, he knows that. _What did you do, Donghyuck?_ They will ask him that, and he won't have anyone on his side. That's when he realized, he shouldn't have fought with Mark, because he lost the only person who'd lock himself in Donghyuck's room, silently giving comfort without words. Because Mark is always on his side, but maybe not this time. And Donghyuck regrets it.

[2] The aftermath of their fight was really awful. Donghyuck felt like shit. Everyone had sensed the bitter taste of tension in the dorm, or just everywhere with the two around. Despite feeling like walking on eggshells with each other, Donghyuck missed him. He missed Mark, he missed him so badly that it agitates him. It ended up on him being visibly frustrated that even the members needed to be careful around him, too afraid to anger the boy. And Donghyuck hated that, hated how he messed up everything. He wanted to talk to Mark, hear him talk without despise on the older's voice, or his own.

But he can't just apologize to Mark and reconcile immediately. Actually, he can, but he's stubborn and he probably knows it himself. And Mark hates him, _he must have_. At least that's what Donghyuck thought. Mark chose to ignore him, and it was the most inconvenient fight they have. They are in the middle of promotions, the worst, a cheerful song that requires cheerful group movements.

 _"You seem to hate the idea of touching me Mark hyung, don't worry. I'd be fine with a change in the choreo",_ And if Donghyuck noticed a shift in Mark's face, something along with the look of disappointment and annoyance, he didn't say anything. _Ah, he must really hate me._ Mark shuffled, jaw clenching a little, a look of displeased evident on his face. And Donghyuck looked away. He has concluded that Mark was still mad at him, and that he must have felt relieved he didn't have to touch Donghyuck.

 _"Fine by me. If that's how professional you can go",_ And then Donghyuck thought, he hated Mark. He hates how mad he is. _He hates him._ And he miss him _so, so_ much that he hates it. He hates Mark, Mark hates Donghyuck.

[3] Mark looked at him for the first time in two months, not with a displeased, almost constipated looks (he had within the past 2 months) but with a hopeful one. It has been long since Mark spared him a glance, too hesitant. Maybe the two months have cleared Donghyuck's judgment a little. He can see past the annoyance, instead, Mark was hesitant, not mad. At least not too mad. It was just like the fight they had, not very clear when they had reconciled. Donghyuck cannot quite remember how it goes. He was in the studio when he entered on Mark playing his guitar in the corner of the room, sprawled against the floor. Donghyuck sat beside him, and silence ensued. 

_"Play for me, hyung"_

A smile etched its way to the older's face, head slightly turning towards Donghyuck. A little silence again, not until the melody of the strings broke it, filling the room.

 _"Sing for me then, hyuck"_ and then Mark told him he wasn't mad. Mark told him he was sorry. Mark told him he never meant what he said. Mark told him he missed him. Mark missed him. Mark told him a lot of things. Donghyuck told him one.

_"You're something else, Mark Lee"_

Because he realizes, he can not bear to stay mad at him. Mark Lee is different. And Donghyuck accepted that within himself.

[4] The inevitable has finally arrived. Honestly, this had gone out of their minds because of how busy they were. They knew about it, sure, but they had years to avoid it that when it was only days before it happened, they cannot seem to prepare themselves for it.

Mark Lee was graduating. Mark Lee, the leader of Dream, is the first to leave the group. _Honestly, fuck the system_ , Donghyuck thought. But they should have been prepared, they should have accepted it already. They can't, however. Not Donghyuck, not the rest of the dreamies.

The dream show ended, a lot of tears were spilled. Renjun crying while singing, only to be hugged my Jaemin during their duet part. Jisung cried even harder, Jeno and Chenle patting his head. And Mark cried, a rare thing to happen, Renjun rubbing his nape and Jeno patting his back. Donghyuck had cried at the sight of that. Ah, he's really leaving. Donghyuck has thought it was silly for him to cry, of course, it is. Mark is only leaving dream, but they are in 127. He didn't have the right to cry. The kids will not be seeing Mark often, Donghyuck can. He felt useless, he should have comforted the rest of them. But Donghyuck can't help it. So he cried, he cried like the rest of them. He cried while holding Chenle's hand, he cried while patting Jisung's back, he cried as he was pulled in a group hug. Because Mark is leaving, and the thought of Mark leaving broke him, cloud his mind with the idea of Mark not being by his side.

_"We're still on 127 Hyuck, why were you crying?"_

_"Shut up hyung, let me cry in peace",_ Mark shuffled in his seat, turning to face Donghyuck, head leaned on the window of the car. They're on their way home to 127's dorm after the party they had in dream's. Although they'd like to stay the night, they have a schedule for 127 early in the morning. And they have to be home, they will be home. Mark and Donghyuck. Mark is still with him, but why did he cry?

 _"Donghyuck, hey. You know I'm not going anywhere right? I'm still a dreamie, you can't get rid of me like that" ,_ Donghyuck grinned, slightly turning to Mark's side, his head dropping on the older's shoulder. Mark adjusted himself so Donghyuck wasn't slouching.

_"I can still kick you out of the gc, you know"_

_"You won't, you love me"_

_"Yeah whatever, leader"_

Yes he won't. And maybe yes, to next phrase. For that, Donghyuck wasn't sure. Does he love Mark? Maybe in some ways. Beyond platonic, he can't be sure. For now, however, he knows, he can't bear the thought of Mark not being with him, with them.

[5] Donghyuck wasn't the very clumsy type, nor he was dumb not to avoid hurting himself but he was unfortunate. It was nearing the year-end specials when he injured himself, probably the worst injury he had in his whole career. He was told he can't dance for a while. And Donghyuck was so freaking mad and pissed and just generally devastated. Not only that, their world tour was approaching. The first world tour and he might not be able to participate.

 _"You can't force yourself, Donghyuck. You have to promise us, focus on recovering okay?"_ , Taeyong said, as if it will console Donghyuck with the fact that he might miss their first concert, first world tour. But he knows they were genuinely concerned, so he focuses on his physical therapy. He did his best not to worry about them, not to think of their supposed concert in Seoul. But when he checked their twitter and there were plenty of videos about the concert, he can't help but call their managers to force them to make him join, even if he would be sitting on the stage.

 _"Do you really missed me that much hyung? Shouting my name and all?",_ Donghyuck grinned, as Mark stuttered on the other side of the screen. The members have called Donghyuck after the concert to tell him how it has gone. And now, Mark was the only one left in the call as the members started showering one by one.

_"Ahh, shut up Hyuck. Really, you should have been there"_

_"Just say you missed me and go, Mark hyung, i can smell you from here"_

_"Yeah I missed you, I mean- yeah all of us do, really"_

When Donghyuck finally took part in the concert, sitting down on the chair while the members crowd at him while singing, he was so so happy. He missed the stage, he missed the fans, he missed his hyungs. He missed Mark, who was standing by his side and staring at him more than usual. Donghyuck knew he belongs here. He belongs on the stage, with his fans, with the members, with Mark.

_"Just hug me, you fool"_

And when Mark did, Donghyuck melted in the hug, this is home, where Donghyuck should be. _Maybe, he does like him, a little lot._

[6] Mark's home felt quite different. Mark's home was foreign to Donghyuck, although it really does feel so much like Mark. It could be just his mind playing a trick on him but Vancouver screamed Mark. The atmosphere felt like Mark. Still foreign, but familiar.

_"You're worried aren't you?"_

_"Oh hey, you. And I don't know, it's just. It felt quite like a dream, you know?"_ the older responded, his eyes saying a lot, his fingers shaking a little, willing Donghyuck to take it in his own, gently squeezing them for assurance. Mark smiled at him, genuinely grateful and absentmindedly intertwined their fingers. It's not new for them, they have always been a lot more touchy behind the camera although it has been dismissed as the friendly dynamic that they have built throughout the years of friendship they have.

Mark reached for the water bottle and drank a little, not thirsty but just to ease his nervousness. Donghyuck knew Mark was pressured. Performing in his hometown was different, of course.

 _"You'd do well hyung. You've been doing well up until now. I'm sure you'd make Vancouver proud of you",_ Mark shrugged when Donghyuck side hugged him, pushing a little to say it was uncomfortable hugging in a cramped dressing room while standing.

 _"Oh come on hyung, your hometown is cold! Take responsibility and let me hug you!" ,_ Mark only laughed at him, clearly not taking him seriously but not doing an attempt to push him away. Donghyuck was satisfied, seeing Mark's nerve slowly going away.

 _"I'm so glad I have you",_ And maybe his heart leaped with those simple phrases. _Is this how fool I'd get?_ Probably. He has crossed the line, and he should do something. Because after all, he does love Mark.

"You're spacing out quite long enough now, Hyuck", Donghyuck snapped, eyes fixed on Mark's confused face. He was adorable this way, glasses crooked maybe because he was sitting lopsided, hair not styled, face not painted with cosmetics. He loves Mark this way, comfortably laying his back on the armrest of the couch after slouching so much. He loves Mark in so many ways when Mark helps direct on their recordings, giving side comments and suggestions. He loves Mark when he performs on stage, eyes sparkling with the thousand lights and lips curving along with the loud chants. He loves Mark when he looks at Donghyuck with his naturally confused face, laughing at anything that comes out of Donghyuck's mouth. He loves Mark, he loves him. And he should probably do something about it.

"Mark hyung, let's sing a song", Donghyuck suggested and Mark got up almost immediately, smiling and mumbled something about getting his guitar. When Mark returned, Donghyuck suggested a song, and Mark strummed his guitar, eyes not leaving each other.

Donghyuck sang, eyes still on Mark's whose eyes trailed to Donghyuck and then to his guitar, a smile fixed on his face.  


_I miss you_

_I like you a lot_

_I want to hug you even more_

_Love, it's similar to love_

_Maybe I really love you_

The song ends with Donghyuck still looking at Mark, and the other looking back at him with a questioning one. It was another spur of the moment, just like how they fought, just like the moment they reconcile, because Mark and Donghyuck are quite odd. But that's how it works for them.

"I like you, Mark hyung"

And Mark only sat there, smile not wavering although if anything, it got wider. Donghyuck left confuse, why was Mark not answering?

A silence was there, as Donghyuck was biting his tongue, eyes glued on the couched instead. Was he not supposed to confess? Did he ruin anything? Those questions left untouched as he heard a shuffle and then felt a hand on his cheeks.

"Donghyuck, hey! you're such a baby" , Mark let out a small chuckle, scooting closer to Donghyuck and trying to meet the younger's gaze, who was rather interested in Mark's guitar strings, fingers nervously playing on the hem of his basketball shorts.

"I like you too. I've always had. But I thought you would never realize", Donghyuck snapped to look at him. He can't believe it. Was he worried for nothing?

"Hyung! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted you to figure it out, give yourself some time. I don't want to overwhelm you or overstepped the boundaries", Donghyuck intently listen, his eyes trying to find a lie behind Mark's actions and words. But he knew the older, always a lot more than he should've. And Mark could never lie, not that he hasn't tried, but never really to him. Because Donghyuck knows Mark, knows him like the first piano piece he used to learn, memorized, note for note. And he can tell Mark's many emotions, from happiness, distress, frustrations, and sincerity. All his insecurities must have clouded his judgment for the older's feelings for him.

"I don't want to confess and confuse you. I don't want to put what we have at risk, you know?", Mark nervously reached out for Donghyuck's hands and anxiously played with his fingers, muscle memory. And Donghyuck tried not to stray back every little thing they have done. So everything wasn't just a figment of his mind? All those 'this is a friendly gesture, calm yourself' were pointless then.

"But I kind of thought that there might be a chance, for you to like me? So I tried to at least give you uhm hints. I was bad at it wasn't I?"

And Donghyuck only rolled his eyes and hugged Mark. Mark likes him. Mark likes Donghyuck. Maybe more than that, but he'll say it one day, they'll say it. In between confessions, Donghyuck asked for a kiss, Mark only reacted with a deep blush and a stuttering mess. But Donghyuck was stubborn, so he kissed him anyway.

[7] _Ah I've really fallen for Mark Lee? What a fool,_ Donghyuck thought.


End file.
